Dare to Dream

Dreamer.

Ever since I was a little girl my heart connected with Africa. When I was 12, I wrote in a class project that I wanted to work for World Vision when I grew up. At the age of 14 I used my pocket money to start sponsoring a child. Her name is Odalys, and she is beautiful. Soon after, I terrified my parents by constantly requesting to go to Africa with numerous organisations they had never heard of. My heart yearned for justice and longed for the nations. I would dream of a world awakened with love, a love that travelled oceans. A world where every single person was valuable, precious and worth fighting for. A place where poverty was no more. My dreams were big and ambitious – many would even say impossible.

Hidden by Fear.

I realised recently that, somewhere along the way, I’d disconnected with those dreams. But why? I guess I started doubting myself. I stopped sharing my dreams with others. I was afraid they would think I was young and naive. I’m just a kid who doesn’t know what she’s talking about. I don’t know what the “real world” is like. Even while writing this I keep deleting words, afraid of sounding stupid. I was afraid I wasn’t good enough. I’ll never have enough skills or influence to see that happen. For three years I worked for an organisation, surrounded by people with doctorates in international development. I was just a part time PA who hasn’t been to university. I’m not qualified. But most of all, I was afraid of being disappointed. What if it never happened? What if I failed? What if I lived for this dream all my life, and it was just a waste of time? What if God becomes disappointed in me?

Through the fear and pain, I reassured myself by thinking that maybe it’s just not meant to be. Maybe it isn’t for me. Maybe God’s got something else planned. I’ll just keep doing what I’m doing and see what happens. I began to settle for less.

Awakened Again.

A few months ago, during church, I saw God holding a globe in his hand. He was beckoning me to take it – a gift from the Father to me. He wanted to give me the nations. I was surprised, confused and terrified. I thought, I’m not worthy of this. This is too big and precious to be in my hands. I’ll mess it up, I’ll do something wrong. I’m not ready for this. I’ve got to sort myself out first. I’ll fail. But still, God told me to take it. So I took a long, deep breath, took the globe from his hand and placed it in my heart. I didn’t tell anyone about what I saw. I tried to forget about it, thinking that maybe in a few years, when I was ready, I’d see that gift begin to outwork in my life. Little did I know, I’d be sharing it with you all now.

The very next week at church, Andy shared about the parable of the Prodigal Father and the story came alive to me again. There is so much I could unpack in this story, but one part in particular stood out to me that day. When the son comes home disgraced, unworthy, cursed and dirty, the Father embraces him. He gets his best, most precious robe, his very own, and places it on his son’s shoulders. Now the Father, son and robe are dirty. The parable doesn’t say anything about the son having to have a bath first! Suddenly it hit me; God doesn’t mind if his robe gets a bit dirty. He doesn’t mind if we get some dirt on his plan. He is totally okay with mess. Maybe I don’t have to have it all together to have influence in the nations. Maybe it’s okay if I don’t always get it right. Maybe he just wants me as I am.

God was challenging me to believe in myself, daring me to dream, even when I felt unworthy. To show up and be seen, even if it might be a bit messy.

Nations.

Conor and I have the opportunity to go back to Uganda this year. It’s our favourite place, a second home and we absolutely adore it. It probably seems like an easy decision (of course we should go again), yet this time it was painfully hard. Fear crippled me again. What if I’m not ready for the nations? What if I’m trying to make something happen that’s not meant to be? What if we can’t get the money? But I just kept hearing God say – believe in yourself, dare to dream again. Embrace the gift I gave you, step out, be seen. So we took a risk and said yes! We are going with a wonderful team from Bethel Whangarei in April.

I don’t know if I’m brave enough to dream of a world without poverty yet, but I’m dreaming of Uganda. I’m dreaming for the communities that make me come alive, the people who awaken my heart. I’m daring to dream again. I wanted to invite you to be a part of this journey, because I feel like believing in myself looks like sharing my dreams with others. It looks like giving it a go. It looks like putting myself out there, allowing myself to be seen. It even looks like fundraising, when there’s a chance I’ll be disappointed.

We would so appreciate your encouragement, prayers and any donation you would like to make. As an added bonus, if you donate $40 or more, we’ll send you an A4 sized prophetic nations print of your choice. Donate $100 or more and we will design a custom print for a country of your choice. You can check out a gallery of the prints below (*frames not included).

Thanks for believing in us!